Pocket Pivots: Values and Character
How do you behave when you have the ability to influence?
I spent the last couple of months trying to consciously shape a work dilemma I’ve been grappling with into an object of contemplation. Naturally, I like to extract anecdotes to understand how I arrived at a particular place and it strikes me that this tendency to create narratives of our lives extends beyond personal reflection.
It is our general nature to be philosophical, even diplomatic, about our principles and values; more so to justify our behaviours even when they are causing harm. Isn’t it why the endless tiptoeing around the genocide in Gaza continues to normalize the unacceptable? Or why the diplomatic niceties and silences around the mass displacements of people in Congo and Sudan allow conversations to fade from the spotlight? Is it not the same impulse that is allowing mission creep in corporate, tech, humanitarian and human rights organisations?
All of these are spaces where ideals are slowly being reconstructed with carefully worded philosophies of values and guiding principles. Oh! To be an idealist and a hopeful fool cognizant of the act of seeing this world for what it is is a massive soul ache.
Then came the "we listen, but we don’t judge" internet edition, lol. Ironic because if I’m truly honest, one of the things I’ve prided myself in yet also berated myself for is my ability to be a good judge of character. Character. This is where our truest test lies.
Cultural markers, as you know, are in a constant flux and should not be considered permanent. My question is, then, how do we reposition negatively-loaded values and principles into positive ones to upend our characters, both individual and collective? This is in no way an abstract philosophical question, nor is it an exercise in futility. Or so I hope.
Within my local context, there is a recurring theme in the chats I’ve had with almost every Uber driver I chanced on. We, speaking for many of us Kenyans, are weary of the pervasive greed, corruption and wastefulness under #RutoMustGo. But I do pose a direct question: 'If you were in his shoes, what would you do differently?' And more pointedly, 'At the end of the day, do you take a moment to introspect on your own actions?'
The response to the first question is met with the weight that responsibility settles on us. But it is the overwhelming 'no' to the second question that saddens me the most because of the disconnect between criticizing those in power and examining our potential for similar failings and compromises.
Facades don’t last and in the end, our characters speak volumes about the veneers of the values we embody. It is easy, for example, to identify wrongs and blame leadership from the outside. But the true 'upending' of character requires a deep level of self-awareness and introspection that seems to be sorely lacking, both at the individual level and, by extension, within the larger cultural landscape.
So, how can we expect any positive shifts in shared values when the core practices of personal accountability and self-examination are absent?
There is a Yoruba proverb that I like, “it is the habit a child forms at home that follows them to their marriage.
To freedom! #FreePalestine #FreeDRC #FreeSudan